Nursing mothers are being told to leave airplanes. Bloggers are being banned from blog networks for posting discreet breastfeeding photos. Breastfeeding moms are enduring harassment in restaurants and are being kicked out of public buildings… including Victoria’s Secret! Hearing these news reports would have us believe that breastfeeding will never be accepted by the majority. Will we ever have a breastfeeding friendly society?
Some experts believe that breastfeeding is one of the most important things that a mother can do to give her baby and herself the best chance for optimal health. It seems that each year we discover more and more and more about the benefits of breastfeeding for mother, child and even our environment. Breastfeeding is surely a cause worth fighting for. What can we, as individuals, do to support breastfeeding?
One way is to pay attention to how we as breastfeeding supporters communicate our message. Every person comes from a different place and a different understanding. Even people who are supportive of breastfeeding differ from one another. For instance, some women who breastfed their babies are still uncomfortable with nursing in public. They may feel very strongly that breastfeeding was the best choice for them and they nursed their own children but they did it in the bathroom or otherwise hidden away from others.
And for some mothers, breastfeeding was the choice they knew was best, but because of poor support or information, they weren’t able to make a success of it. And so they harbor guilt or pain which comes out as criticism of breastfeeding. The point of breastfeeding advocacy is not to make women feel guilty, but we cannot be dishonest at the same time. Just as health care providers are very clear that not using an infant car seat is dangerous, they also have an obligation to let women know that the choice not to breastfeed will have its risks.
Good communication skills are very important, particularly with family members who don’t understand the benefits of breastfeeding. It’s a good idea for new parents to talk about their parenting decisions with close family who may be spending time with their new baby. Learning to set good boundaries will help extended family respect the couple’s parenting choices.
The same thing applies to perfect strangers. Instead of using sarcasm to answer someone who is bothered by your nursing in public, try diplomacy and kindness. It will go a long way. At the same time, women who continue to breastfeed their babies in public unapologetically with dignity do much to normalize breastfeeding.
Studies show that women often make the decision to breastfeed (or not) long before they ever become pregnant, perhaps even as young girls or teens. One way to create a breastfeeding friendly world is to help our own children see breastfeeding as normal and the biologically appropriate way to feed an infant. Similar to the conclusions children who observe a sibling being born draw about the normality of birth, children who observe their mother nursing a sibling also view breastfeeding as normal and the desirable way to feed an infant. Thankfully, we can buy books with pictures of nursing mothers and mammals within their pages, and even dolls that breastfeed.
The good news is, most mothers find that the majority of the time, no one is bothered by their breastfeeding in public. Sometimes they even get positive comments from parents whose babies have long since weaned or left the nest. In the meantime, the actions of an individual mother can change the way people around her view breastfeeding, for the better.
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